I always feel like a jerk-off because Red is my favorite candy flavor.
Having reds as your favorite flavor is like rooting for the Yankees, enjoying petite girls with big titties or finding Will Ferrell movies funny. All of these things are easy to do and completely rational but there's no unpredictability to them. Rooting for the Montreal Expos, watching BBW porn and finding your corny uncle's jokes funny all take a lot more individuality to appreciate.
When I was an angst-ridden teenager who strived to be different, I'd say greens were my favorite candy flavor. It was all bullshit. I do like greens but they do not compare to reds. There is one exception to this of course, which is Chewy Sprees. The green Chewy Spree's are up there as the greatest single piece of candy ever created. If Sprees were smart, they would create a bag of all-greens. MMMM.
I think for my sake and the sake of the women ringing me up at CVS's around the tri-state area, it's probably for the best that the all-green bags do not actually exist.
"Hello Sir is that all today,"
"Yes do you see how much of an individual I am..."
"Does buying all-green chewy sprees make you more of an individual? hehehe"
"It's not just the sprees... I have an important night tonight. I am going to my uncle's to giggle and watch the Montreal Expos. After they lose again, I am going to masturbate to clips of the movie precious on youtube."
"..... Security."
What is your favorite candy flavor? and be honest! If someone says orange or banana, you are a liar.
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My favorite candy color is now, and has ALWAYS been, orange. Yellow is a close second. What can I say, I like the citrus flavors. So fuck you Dave.
ReplyDeletePS. this blog has become my favorite thing. Oh, and green is fucking disgusting.
I make no apologies for red being my favorite. That being said it does not always make sense to like Will Ferrel movies
ReplyDeleteIt might be purple for me, but red is totally the best Skittle ever.
ReplyDeleteI also really like mint flavors. Does that make me an individual? :D
My Answer Sheet
ReplyDelete1) Orange and Yellow are horrible. This is not opinion but irrefutable fact.
2) Will Ferrell was hilarious during his time on SNL. Anchorman and Old School both might be overplayed but are still funny. Stop hating. P.S. I do respect you wearing your red fandom without shame.
3) Purple is an interesting flavor to me. It either tastes amazing (Shock Tarts and NERDS) or like cough syrup (Mentos) I've always been a mint-hater but liking it makes you either an individual or a senior citizen depending on your outlook.
You cannot forget Zoolander in the list of incredible Will Ferrell movies. Just because he played the villain does not mean he is not an integral figure.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite candy flavor is M&Ms. Every color is exactly the same and that's why they're brilliant. But i do like pinks of pretty much everything.
Banana laffy taffy is amazing and so are the bananas in runts.
ReplyDelete