Review of Five Guys Burger + Fries

My review of the KFC Double Down= with Emmannuel
My review of Human Centipede= with Sam (a female!)
My review of Five Guys Burger + Fries= with Mikey P

The fact that I've went with someone else each time is odd because I actually prefer to eat alone. You can't make as many moans and sighs when you bite into the burger when you are with another person. I also try to play it cool and not have a creepy fucking grin on when I order the food. When I'm alone, this is all fair game which makes it superior.

Five Guys is becoming a big chain seemingly over-night. The research I conducted told me that there are 200 new restaurants opening up in 2010 which is impressive. Before opening up these new venues, the chain's claim to fame was getting one frat boy called a faggot by another frat boy. An example of this is the classic routine acted out below.



Hell yeah! I just had Five Guys!


Homo.

Before we entered Five Guys, we grossed out an 80 year old woman. It was a hot day so the windows in the cars were open. We stopped at a red light and like two creepy young men were having a conversation about how to last the longest you can while having sex. I turned to my right and saw a terrified old woman.

I'm pretty sure as soon as the light turned green, she went down a side street, took a deep breath and thought to herself...

"Betsy, before you denounce the entire younger generation you have to remember your grandson Henry! You send money to him each month that he deserves and puts to good use, At least HE is a very respectful, god-fearing, studious young man.

Henry.

After we ruined a poor old woman's day, we finally arrived at Five Guys. The best thing about this place, is that you can pick exactly what condiments you want on your burger. They have everything you can think of, which consists of the regular shit (Lettuce, Tomatos, Pickles, Cheese) and other stuff (Jalapeno Peppers, Grilled Onions, Grilled Mushrooms, Hot Sauce, Barbeque Sauce etc). They also are not cheap at all with their fries. If you order a regular fry, they give you a good amount in a cup and then dump more and more into your greasy bag.

I can definitely see why it is becoming a big chain, the food was excellent. The burgers were juicy and the fries tasted more potato like than the ones in most fast food joints. This also could be due to the fact that Five Guys has huge bags of potatoes strewn all over the place to showcase how legit they are. It is slightly more expensive than the established fast food chains but I felt more full afterwards than I do with their food, so it was a wash.

Cliff note's review= Devouring Five Guys was an experience I will never forget. I felt stuffed and satisfied in a way I never felt before with Dave Thomas.